Saturday, April 25, 2009

Being "Intensity-Challenged"

Right now I have too much going on in my life and I'm getting low on patience, energy and concentration. A vacation will help. But the reality is that vacation relief is just temporary and I can't always take one when I need it.

I was talking to Barb yesterday. She's planning on quitting smoking May 1st. I remember when I quit in '77. Such a confidence crisis I had for several months. I finally figured out why. It was because after I quit smoking I no longer had a convenient way to step back from whatever was going on in me or around me.

Without a timely smoke screen, aka cigarette break, I found myself being overwhelmed by intensity. For me, not smoking was like watching a movie. No commercials, just intensity. I generally don't like movies, simply for that reason.

So, beginning today I'm looking at all my habits and questioning them in relation to feelings of intensity. Do I snack, change channels, get a drink, excuse myself from a conversation, etc because I'm "intensity challenged"?

All through school I was described as an under-achiever. I knew I could do better, everybody did. I just couldn't stay at it. My parents and teachers told me all I had to do was to "apply myself." Do you know how hard that is? Intensity makes my brain hurt. And when that happens, it is time to do something else for a while.

Any suggestions anyone? What "something else" can I do when I need to take a break from intensity? Snacking is only making me fat and more uncomfortable.

I'm thinking that maybe some little physical thing, or breathing thing, maybe. Help! I can't think anymore. Gotta take a break. Bye.

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